That would be an existential matter

Boat Shoes: What the fuck is that about?

People who move home to be closer to work, rather than work closer to home: Twats.

It takes literally weeks to escape the cycle of accidently biting your cheek, causing it to stick out slightly, causing you to bite it again, causing it to stick out slightly more, causing you to bite it again. Arggghh!

For the first month of the year it’s fucking impossible to buy any organic food from the supermarket as every fast food eating gypo has decided that they’re going to eat healthily for a fleeting moment before consuming the same shit as ever by February the lardy twats.

People who drop litter: Arrogant knobjoints!

Christmas. Just a bit shit really.

Everything is ten times funnier when you have a mouthful of water.

megalol

If you’re desperate for the toilet whilst walking home, the last 10 metres to your house are always verging on disaster.

If you sit on the priority seat of a tube carriage, you’re guaranteed that it’s only a matter of stops before a pregnant woman gets on.*

*This has happened to me four times in a row. FOUR TIMES. The bloody chances are like probably a million to one.

Garlic crushers - Impossible to wash.