That would be an existential matter

The most annoying thing about getting a new mobile is inputting all the swearwords back into predictive text.

The 0898z, Barnet’s most notorious punk band, is fighting the corporate sell outs at Wikipedia to get their influence and importance recognised. click here to view the page and more importantly, discuss this page and The 0898z in the full glare of Wikipedia admin by clicking here and even more importantly, say why we should not be deleted by clicking here. Got that?

Some other Barnet bands are also mentioned, some you might recognise, some you might not. For the literally tens of people that were caught up in the Barnet music scene in the 1990s, it meant a lot. Well, something at least. Who can forget Barnet’s own music festival Garystock, Undertow’s new year gig at Liberty Hall’s listed building, FLS at the Duke of Lancaster knocking over the mixing desk in a fever of over moshing, The 0898z graffiti at Alston Works overlooking Barnet, Cyanide Ceed playing at the Old Bull Arts Centre. Leash playing at Friern Barnet fair… all of it legendary.

Fucking Wikipedia.

UPDATE: To have a look at some legendry 0898z album covers, you can still see them on Google’s Cache if you click here. The featured covers are the backs and fronts of: The showaddywaddy EP, The Smarmy Garnet EP, The Eggy Arab EP, The Aeroplane EP.

I wonder who’d win in a fight between the Coco Monkey, Rik Ricicle (aka Captain Rik) and Tony the Tiger.

My monkeys on Coco.

The greatest instant rush of guilt you will ever feel is when you accidently tread on a snail.

In a conscience attempt to be less negative and embrace the joys of live before bitterness and anger consumes my character beyond any recognition and I end up sitting in a pub twenty years from now hating everyone just because they seen to be happier than me, I’ve decided to start ‘Jolly Good Egg’ series as a direct contrast to my ‘Terrible Tosspots of Our Time‘ post.

So first off is Jimmy Pop, lead singer of The Bloodhound Gang. He’s wicked. FACTOID. Why? Because I really think one of the secrets to life is enjoying yourself and not taking yourself seriously, at all, like so many arse-mongers in the world. He’s also totally amusing and I’m ashamed to admit I kinda wanna be like him but fail miserably. I’ve never wanted to be cool (good thing really as I’m not), I’ve only really ever wanted to be like Jimmy Pop. See, it sounds sad to admit this but why? Because I’m worried about looking stupid? Well screw that. Come brothers, for it is time to emancipate yourselves from the shackles of self respect and walk forth into moronicness. Chant with me “Jimmy Pop! Jimmy Pop! Jimmy Pop!”

Here’s April’s instalment of ‘Google Key Phrases’ – A wild (and let’s face it, a frankly whacky) look at some of the more bizarre Google searches people have entered to end up in the asapargine.net domain… New searches include:

Pendulous breasts – 17 searches!
Beckham Haircut - 4 searches (what a bunch of cunts)
Lightsaber choreography competition - 3 Searches
Morrisons are wankers - 2 searches (most pleasing)
the 0898z - 2 searches (even more pleasing)
When zombies take over - 1 search
The professor on sliders - 1 search
Sell your testical for money - 1 search
I am under surveillance - 1 search
Insert bizarre porn links - 1 search
Reason 69 at morrisons - 1 search (hahaha)
armpits pics home - 1 search
Hate qe boys - 1 search (still going I see…)
Give me a london girl everytime - 1 search
Drunk or drunken man or men or boy or boys or guy or guys or dude or dudes - 1 search (can you hear the desperation in this search…)
Ugly and perverted - 1 search

Conclusion: The general public scares me.

Spring is the coldest season, FACT. The moment the sun comes out for half a day and manages to raise the temperature to a measly 6 degrees, every British person feels the compulsion to open all the windows, turn off the heating, sit outside and declare “summer is here” whilst shivering their arse off in a pub garden, wearing shorts. Which kinda brings me onto cold pubs. What’s the fucking point in that? A pub should be hot. Boiling in fact. You should come in and after ten minutes you feel so lathargic that you can’t be bothered to leave. It should dehydrate you so all you want is a freezing pint. It should make you strip off your layers and sit in a t-shirt to make you feel at home. But no. Most pubs (mainly ‘funky’ gastro holes with wooden floors and minimalist furniture) think it’s a really clever idea to turn on the air conditioning units hanging from the ceiling even though there’s only four people in the place and it’s snowing outside. So a cold pub with an arctic breeze on my neck to boot? Wicked, I fancy a pint. Actually, make that three…

If you don’t update your blog for ages, everyone stops reading it.

Arrghh! Busy as a motherfuck. Had no time to do anything on here. Recording at the moment with The Buzz and it’s actually more time consuming than going to work. Still, it’s like 4000 times better.

Will be back soon to call people wankers. Honest.