That would be an existential matter

Anyone else think Mel Gibson’s remake of ‘The Life of Brian’ wasn’t anywhere as near as funny as the original?

Damn Hollywood.

Arrghh! If you’re at the very end of a long chunk of text you’ve just written, be it email, Word document or whatever, there’s an unproportionally high chance your hand will slip and you’ll mange to execute the ‘please-randomly-delete-everything-I’ve-just-written-and-not-save-it-on-the-clipboard-you-total Microsoft-cunts’ shortcut.

You better get used to these, as the World Cup is coming up. Prepare yourselves for ill-educated ramblings pretending I know what I’m talking about. Mmm, no change there then.

Still, this one was just to say hahahahahahahahaha, Arsenal lost.

But, I do have a rant attached to this… People often suggest that I should support Man Utd., Arsenal, Liverpool, whoever in Europe as it’s “good for English football”. My anus is it. It’s not a matter of nation, it’s a matter of club. A football club full of foreign players, foreign managers, overseas sponsorship and basically almost nothing to do with this country apart from where the club once originated and some of its fans. No-one thinks “so Liverpool won the Champions League, wow English football is amazing”. In fact, they just think how spawny Liverpool were. International football however is a different story. No-one has to play for England, but they do out of choice and out of pride. When you grow up as a kid you always want to play for England more than anything else, even your favourite club. International football is about the purest form of football you can still get. Less sponsorship, a united fan base in every nation, a limited pool of players to pick for each nation that even the biggest of cheques can’t manipulate… it’s all good. Bring on the World Cup. Another tournament, another set of heartbreaking penalties I guarantee.

Ah, I love the internet. As I write, I’m currently listening to loads of Myspace nonsense. Bizarre ambient dance, geeky art rock and power pop (oh yeah, The Sounds fucking rule). Anyway, that’s what the internet is all about. Sharing information, making music, art, writing and ideas freely available to everyone. It absolutely rules. It’s the best interactive porn-mag you’ve ever owned. It’s the most extensive music magazine you’ve ever read. It’s the greatest encyclopedia you’ve ever set your eyes on. I can’t say enough good stuff about it. Freedom of the internet is imperative if, as human beings we actually want to progress. Seriously. It’s the best thing man has invented since Rowntree decided to put letters on the inside of Smarties lids.

Anyway, with all good things must come crap. Adverts, banners, pop up windows and sponsorships seep into every corner of the internet. The ability for people to distribute masses of child porn is also a slightly pesky problem, but I think this is blown out of all proportion just so governments can justify enforcing censorship on the net. Spam email is also problematic. Write your email address anywhere on the net and within a week you’re being asked if you “really want to lay the pipe to her”, “consolidate or your loans into one easily repayable monthly charge you irresponsible loser!”. However, the bit of spam I got the other day was a little more noteworthy than the normal shite. It came from ‘Grant Public Officer’ and reads:

ATTN: Grant Beneficiary,
This is to bring to your information that your email has been randomly selected and approved as a charity grant beneficiary of LADY DIANA CHARITY FOUNDATION. You are awarded a grant sum of £3,555,000.00 (Three Million Five Hundred And Fifty Five Thousand Great Britain Pounds)

Then a bit about who I need to write to followed by:

Congratulations once again from the entire staff of LADY DIANA CHARITY FOUNDATION and it is our hope that you will appreciate our gesture and judiciously spend your grant.
Sincerely,
Miss Emily Fletcher,
PUBLIC RELATIONS OFFICER,
GRANT AWARD DEPARTMENT,
LADY DIANA CHARITY FOUNDATION
FOUNDATION BUILDING,
569 EUSTON ROAD, LONDON, NW1 3AR

So, I’ve been randomly selected to be awarded £3 million? Wicked, since giving up my job I need a bit of extra cash. I might even go crazy and by a new pair of trainers.

This is really is so, so interesting (it’s difficult for me not to appear sarcastic, but I’m serious) and I want to know more. NOW!

click here: Hacker talks of UFO technology in NASA database

If you have a favourite confectionary item, guarenteed the bastards will change the recipe and you’ll hate it forever more.

ITEM: Milky Way. Where’s the fucking brown filling gone?

Bollocks, the Tories managed to hold onto their council seats in Barnet and maintain control of the Borough. Look here. Therefore please expect more roads to be named after the ineffective and misguided Sydney Chapman Conservative MP without the say of the electorate as well as a full campaign against Barnet Football Club staying at Underhill. Thanks voters. Well done there. Twats.

Visit here to show your support: Keep Barnet FC Alive