I might have bitten off more than I can chew on this one. I’m bracing myself for a backlash so vicious, Gary Glitter would be envious. Still, someone’s gotta teach them kids how to read and write… so why not let it be a semi-dyslectic moron like myself?
Still this neatly leads me into my rant about the gutter press this week. The middle England tabloids have been out in force berating the so-posh-it-must-be-illegal-I-mean-look-at-the-guy-he-wears-deck-shoes-for-Chirst’s-sake David Cameron on his policy of understanding youth. I mean, what an outrageous proposition. To try to understand young people. The Daily Mail and Daily Express nearly spilt their Earl Grey when they heard this. Cue seven days worth of “Hooded Youths Stole My House, Raped My Dog and Shat in the Mouth of My Dying Grandmother” to prove just how evil the young really are. I mean, look at them, they wear hooded tops.
The demonisation of the young has always gone on. It’s only natural to get pissed off with a new generation taking your place in the park getting leathered on the cheapest cider man can make. But in the last few years, it’s got ludicrous. Searching children’s lunchboxes to confiscate fast food. Random drug testing in schools. Banning the young from shopping centres based solely on their clothes. No other demographic gets royally shagged up the arse by the Government or media.
When they were about to extend the licensing laws, The Daily Mail ran article after article about how the young would go into a drinking frenzy with “photographic evidence” in the form of shambolic town centres at kicking out time to prove their point. All well and good, but they couldn’t get their bigoted minds around the fact that it was a universal kicking out time that caused all the shit. The licensing laws hadn’t even changed at that point, so what were they on about?
Well, I’ve never liked the Tories. But Cameron’s onto something. I, like all my mates did all that “anti-social” crap. I also wore hoodies (as well as a terrible plant pot hat and an overcoat I found in a skip - true story) and no-one I know’s grown into a career criminal. No-one I know has even mugged anyone. Hanging around in groups and being bored is what kids do. In fact, it’s kinda what their forced to do. If they were allowed in pubs more, (not shitty youth centres) they’d be off the street and having a wicked time with older people who can kick off if they act in a wankish way*. (In all honesty, I haven’t really thought that idea through, best disregard it). Nonetheless, Cameron’s right. Still, don’t think for a second I’m ever gonna vote Tory.
* Ah, The Fifth Columnist…